we need a resolution

we have so much confusion

thing is i'll have to look for other directions to
seek help
+ i keep on over or underestimating myself constantly
now i feel like wanting to do all the right things
but questinoning everything is my nature
and being clever never was.
i have to make myself clever,
learn patience, forget about panic
i'm just too obsessive and driven and too much of an extremist to
make it easily.
but there should be a way and time will show it.

+ i don't want to turn people down all the time
and then feeling sorry about it. my terrible mistake,
let's fix it up
cause i want to see other spaces, places, changes