girl, interrupted

so full of pain
meeting the person that first held me in his hands
and he doesn't seem to have an idea
probably, I'm asking for too much
just a gesture, just a word
why do it now
having been interrupetd, literally, the achievement of this now-past year
go to sleep

you can be happy

after, of course, having been assured you won't have a crippling disease until the end of your life (well, at least that's not that far off, then) or maybe it's just me expecting the worst

a thought came down and it washed away the hurt

nostalgia is one of those things. no comparison.

joreggelt, dorika

http://index.hu/belfold/2013/06/12/annyi_az_almom_hogy_eljek/

in vain

'the most important consideration for the individual is the fact that he or she is an individual—an independently acting and responsible conscious being ("existence")—rather than what labels, roles, stereotypes, definitions, or other preconceived categories the individual fits ("essence").'

this is my thought from early afternoon, and discovering it elsewhere than inside my head just adds up to the feeling that I utterly hate the fact
every seemingly original and significant notion I have in mind has been thought and put into words -far more precisely and effectively- before me.

to make things nicer, even this one has been said before me, right, mr. corner.
'if you think you're doing something special, it's been done...so just think dumb'
another reason to earn a living by staying entirely in my comfort zone. just pleasure, no pain.
and I said I didn't like playing chess for not being into using my brain that way, and I'll stick to that.
and who said no pain, no gain.
should be modified to no pain, just gain.
a also said good things don't have to have a bad start. now, it made me think as to what's considered to be right, what's wrong. because sometimes I seem to lose track of which is which; being used to bad circumstances and making or at least trying to make yourself believe it is good circumstances might leave you perplexed, but I guess, that is the essence of a disorder. have to make things clear and straightforward.
feels like I've managed to put my whole day into these rambling sentences, thought-wise.
thinking is useless, shutting myself down now for good.
or is it just not having them shared with and understood by someone all the time? m a y b e

to make it real

I need to have you here

to see good weather

to conform to the rules and not by denying them
or more like
to be related to them and not through the means of denial

by the end of this summer things will have been changed, and I am frightened of
the struggle that's coming up
so many have changed even by now

trying to keep the words from coming out
didn't care to know who else may have been you before
no storybook
an excuse to get hurt and to hurt
do you like to hurt, i do, i do, then hurt me

having a piece of art around you that is a crime not to capture
at least a tiny fragment of every once in a while
come on, skinny love, pictures are my obsession