and showed me understanding is a dream

And dreamed that dream
To be two souls as one

to put it one way:
wouldn't it be better to live in the fake parallel world? no pure pain - bearable,
no pure joy - wouldn't come any other way either.
does it make sense which universe we prefer over the other, isn't stability that should come first? stable and deranged, but stable.
or instable and not quite content without the prospect of ever having a chance of being so - life, question.
isn't it so that no matter which world of representations I choose, I can forget about
any hopes of being understood by another.
how do I get this (pointing at my head) and this (pointing at my chest) and all this (pointing at my whole physique in kind of circular movements) to another?
to their head, to their heart, under their skin, into their liquid self.
how will they get all this?
how will they get me?
they won't. no one will, so it's really just up to everyone to decide which world of representations they pick. and why should you bother giving it any further thoughs once what's the most important will eventually stay unreachable.
grown so weary of all this die trying thing

let's destroy all the feelings so as to make sure there's no hurt
but.
'a thought came down and it washed away the hurt, and there is always something you can learn'
but.
where do you get the strengh from having not much more than hurt?
(so annoyed by question marks. not asking, just feeling out semi-loud. if written words could shout.)

I used to think of eating and all bodily things as something base but come on, how do you get these most elevated thought if you're brain dead by malnutrition. stuff like that. but I'm more than hungry right now, I am s t a r v i n g.

I wouldn't know what to say to a gentle voice
It'd roll right past me
How can I fight when we're on the same side
How can I fight beside you



And this is why I hate you
And how I understand
That no one ever knows or loves another